Crafty Manolo » 34C or 20/20?

34C or 20/20?

By Twistie

Every once in a while you run across some sort of craft item that just leaves you wondering what the Sam Hill someone had ingested to make them think that was a good idea.

This was one of those days for me when I found these on Etsy:

Where even to begin?

Well, let’s start with the idea that someone thinks it’s a good idea to correct the vision in our nipples and work from there, shall we? That alone would be bizarre and disturbing enough for anyone, but wait! There’s more! And I’m not talking about the incredible Ginzu steak knife! No, I’m talking about the fact that there are four styles to choose from: the Harry Potter (with lightning bolt necklace!), the Hipster, the Cat’s Eye, and – as pictured above – the Woody Allen. Why Woody Allen? Let’s let the creator explain that one:

“Mia Farrow, Diane Keaton, Scarlett Johansson–we all know Woody Allen has a thing for ladies, so why not strap a pair of these endearingly nerdy Woody Allen glasses on *your* special ladies?”

Yes, because I want my breasts fondled by the eyewear of a man noted for loving and leaving a long list of gorgeous, talented women and winding up marrying his own stepdaughter. Sure, there was nothing illegal in what he did… but that doesn’t make my breasts long for the touch of his spectacles, either.

The saving grace to these (if there is one) is that they’re not very expensive. Three of the designs are just $9.00 each. Because of the coordinating necklace, though, the Harry Potter ones (and do we really want to wear the vision corrective lenses of underage boys on our headlights?) run a whole $14.00.

All the same, the Etsy shop has been open since November, and so far I see a sum total of three sales made.

Maybe it was the artist’s business sense that needed glasses.

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