Just a Quick Laugh
Sunday, November 7th, 2010By Twistie
Found at The Paper Forest. See an awesome paper robot melee set to original Star Trek fight music. Giggle a lot. I know I did.
Found at The Paper Forest. See an awesome paper robot melee set to original Star Trek fight music. Giggle a lot. I know I did.
Any of you out there familiar with Amy Sedaris’ bitingly wicked humor will have a strong opinion about it. My opinion is that she’s hilarious. From her deranged sit-com Strangers With Candy that spoofed Very Special After School Specials, to her Martha Stewart on acid book on hosting parties, I Like You, she has offended and educated her fans for years.
Now she takes on the wonderful world of crafts with her new book, Simple Times: Crafts for Poor People, being released today. Sure, you won’t learn anything classy in this book, but you’ll become well educated in the question of which glue to use for what sort of project (tacky with furry, gummy with gritty), how to make a pom pom tapeworm, and even safety tips to avoid such common crafting accidents as feather asphyxiation.
So go ahead, give Amy Sedaris another $27.99. Make a wizard duck costume. Then sit down to a Strangers With Candy Marathon next to a black man in a giant squirrel costume. Now where’s my nut?
Does anyone else remember this show?
It didn’t last long, but it made an indelible impression on my mind and my heart. For those of you who blinked and missed the five or six episodes back in 2005 on the Style Network, it was sort of half summer camp crafts lesson, half Wrestlemania, with a side of demonic Martha Stewart.
The premise was simple. Two ordinary crafters go head to head in two timed crafting challenges, and are judged by a panel of professional crafters and minor celebrities (one judge’s claim to fame was that she had appeared on The Apprentice). The crafter with the highest aggregate score was then declared the winner, won a selection of crafting supplies, and was forced to face The Craft Lady of Steel, Jocelyn Worrell. If by any remote chance the challenger beat the CLoS, he or she won a scrapbooking cruise. Yeah, it even happened once or twice.
Okay, I’m guessing some of you have already started on any crafts you plan to give as holiday gifts and party decorations. Thing is, I didn’t have this blog last month which would have been a better time to start talking about this.
All the same, it’s far from too late if you haven’t gotten started. If you’re looking for a few good, quick projects, take a look at a couple of these and get inspired!
Here’s a great idea if you want to make an advent calendar to help kids count down the days until Santa arrives. It’s even simple enough that a child could help make it.
Everyone can use a nice hat when it’s cold. Knitted ones are particularly welcome when the blustery winds blow… even here in California. Here are some thoughts for knitted hats for kids, women, and men. Not inspired by those particular projects? Don’t worry! There are plenty more where I found them.
More of a crocheter? Not to worry! There’s always time for a scarf or two.
And don’t forget that you can craft gifts from your kitchen as well. No, not just cookies and fruitcakes! Think about making small batches of your favorite jams and jellies. Or infuse some olive oil. It’s very simple:
Take one good-sized bottle of decent olive oil and several smaller bottles. Fill the smaller bottles with oil. Add a sprig or two of your favorite herb (rosemary is particularly pleasant, I find), a couple cloves of garlic, or a goodly strip of fresh lemon or orange peel to the smaller bottles. Stop up the small bottles well and leave in a cool, dark corner of your kitchen for at least a couple weeks. Pass them out to your friends and neighbors who enjoy cooking. They’ll love you forever.
A bit of imagination and a little time can turn into amazing gifts, if you harness your talents correctly.
It’s almost inevitable. The more obscure your craft, the more inevitable it becomes. At some point someone is going to utter those dreaded words: “Will you come demonstrate your craft for my craft fair/Renaissance Faire/colorful ethnic celebration/weekly knitting clatch/kid’s preschool?”
This happened relatively quickly for me. After all, bobbin lace (my chosen creative outlet) is pretty unusual.
The first demonstration I did… well, let’s just say my demo partner and I learned a heck of a lot for the next time.
We made every rookie mistake. We didn’t spell ourselves. We never got lunch. We only got something to drink when her husband (Or was it my father? I honestly can’t remember. It may have been an angel. Or possibly Godzilla.) brought us one soda each.
By the end of the day, we were both gibbering. I have a very clear memory of my demo partner sitting at her lace pillow muttering a conversation to herself. It went thusly: